FROM ALMOST HEAVEN to HELL in PARADISE
The Aloha 1000

by Steve Branner . . . South Charleston, West Virginia

Bling-Bling . . . youve got mail. November 9, 2005 . . . IBA news article from Mike Kneebone requests interest from IBA members regarding a Saddlesore 1000 in Hawaii. Five laps around the Big Island within 24 hours.

Well, I was more than just a little intrigued by the possibility of riding a bike in Hawaii where the temperature averages 75 degrees in February as opposed to the 42 degree average here in WV. So I responded to the e-mail asking that I be kept up-to-date with the details of the event as they developed. Within a few weeks the itinerary had been set, I sent all the proper paperwork to IBA, and on Groundhog Day we landed at Kona and were met by Mike Kneebone and Lisa Landry (the IBA gurus who concocted this diabolical event) . . . Aloha!

Fabulous feasts on Thursday and Friday evenings masked the pending thousand miler and all of its as yet unknown challenges. The social events were wonderful opportunities to rub elbows with many IBA rock stars that Id only read about. Of the eighteen participants in this ride there were four past Iron Butt Rally veterans, a rider from Britain whod ridden around the world, another guy from Britain whod participated in the Isle of Man TT, riders from throughout the US who had many years of long distance riding experience, and Bill Ballentyne. from St.Louis, who will be leading a Saddlesore 1000 ride to West Virginia later this year. Although Id completed eight previous Iron Butt rides I felt like a real lightweight among these riders. For three of the participants, this was their first Saddlesore 1000 . . . what a way to gain Iron Butt status!

A riders meeting was held on Friday morning prior to picking up the bikes and Lisa explained the Saddlesore rules, documentation procedures, and suggested routes. Clockwise and counterclockwise routes around the perimeter of the island were suggested to begin the ride with later variations as desired by each rider to suit their wishes. The ominous neck lanyard with a phone number to call in case of an emergency was given to each rider at the end of the meeting. After picking up the bikes, most riders chose to leisurely tour the island and check out some of the roads that would be ridden the following day.

At 4:15 am on Saturday morning we began to gather for breakfast. Nervous talk about what we might expect out there and which routes would be the most efficient and was it even possible to do this ride with the anticipated local and tourist island traffic on 2-lane, mostly rural, roads. At least there wouldnt be any school busses to deal with since it was a Saturday. By 4:55 am we had all suited up and were ready to depart. Lisa had recorded odometer readings and precisely at 5:00 am she turned us loose.

The Adventure Begins. I started out following Jim Culp who led the pack north on Rt. 11. At the Rt. 19-190 split Jim stayed on Rt. 19 and I headed up across the base of Mt. Hualalai on 190. I could only see two bikes behind me and was comfortably cruising on this dry, traffic free road with plenty of sight distance in the early morning hours. The bikes behind me, Ray Blair and the Kappenbergers, passed me on a long straight stretch and I fell in behind following them to Waimea. Just when you think everything is settling down to an easy ride, fate always rears its ugly head. It began to rain. Gently at first and then a little harder, and then, hard enough that if it wasnt for my determination to do this ride Id be somewhere else inside and warm. Ray slowed in the rain and it was good to have him in front to be able to follow his tail light. By the time we got to Hilo the rain had stopped. Having not put on rain pants at the start of the ride (because it was clear and relatively warm), my jeans were pretty wet so my plan was to keep riding to dry them out and then don the rain pants if the weather got nasty again. Ray and the Kappenbergers stopped for gas in Hilo and I continued on to Pahala for gas. After Hilo, I rode the rest of the ride by myself. This let me ride at a pace that I was more comfortable with. The sun had finally risen by this time, also, and it was getting warmer, and I was drying out.

It took about 4 hours and 15 minutes to do the first lap and check in with Lisa at the Kona Chevron Station. After a quick odometer check I headed back to do the counterclockwise lap. By this time of the day the traffic was getting to be a bit of a problem. In the congested area south of Kona it was creeping at 20-30 mph for about 15-20 miles. But after that it was pretty smooth sailin to Hilo. Lots of straight and relatively traffic free roads. However, from Hilo to Waimea it was murderous. Curvy roads, slow traffic, and trucks. But the worst was yet to come. In Waimea I came upon a stopped line of traffic that I couldnt see the end of. I asked a biker (not one of us) parked on the side of the road what was happening and he said it was the annual Cherry Blossom Festival and the traffic was backed up five miles on each side of town. Holy Cow, Batman !!! . . . this just wont do! Relying on some unmentionable creative navigation and piloting skills I managed to get past the congestion in about five minutes (the traffic back-up was only about 2 miles long) and then turned south on 190 back to the Kona checkpoint. I decided then and there that I wouldnt be seeing the north side of the island any more that day . . . especially Waimea. It took 4 hours and 30 minutes to complete the second lap. Lisa and Ed Ottos wife, Peggy, had much appreciated sub sandwiches for the riders at the checkpoint. I had completed about 430 miles by this time and needed to make a decision about how best to complete the ride keeping miles in excess of 1000 to a minimum without doing any more north island routes. Mike Kneebone and I discussed this briefly at the checkpoint and he suggested doing three back and forth laps between Kona and Hilo on the southern horseshoe shaped Route 11 with the first lap shortened at the town of Volcano, located in the Hawaii Volcanoes national Park. This would get me back to the final checkpoint about as efficiently as possible.

So I headed out . . . south on Rt.11 with my mind telling me that I only had to do this over and back route two more times after this one and Id be finished. After getting thru the Kona area traffic the ride was pretty uneventful. The route goes past the turnoff to a place called South Point, which is the Southernmost point of any state in the US. I had ridden there on Friday during a shakedown ride of the Harley. Twelve miles of unimproved road leading to a dirt parking area next to some type of boat lifting cranes with no identification signs. There were a few fishermen and sightseers. Hawaii could sure turn this place into a better tourist destination with not too much effort. Anyway, I made it ok to Volcano, got gas and a receipt (Lisa was un-merciful when she noticed that I hadnt recorded the gas quantity on my trip log . . . I assumed it was on the receipt, which it wasnt) and headed back to Kona. By now this route was becoming familiar and the curves that once were unfamiliar were now anticipated well in advance of getting to them so that I could take them much more smoothly. A neat by-product of the over and back route was that I was able to pass other riders going the opposite direction who were doing the same route. We would wave / flash lights as we passed. It was good to know that there were still others out there with probably the same thoughts that I was having about all of this. I made it back to the Chevron Station south of Kona within four hours, gassed up again, and headed back to Hilo.

My mind is screaming at me that after this southern route lap to Hilo and back: I would only have to do this one more time. Hilo is about twenty miles past Volcano and by the time I got there it was starting to get dark again. At Hilo I finally put on my rain pants. And I had the second sub sandwich which was fermenting in the saddlebag. There was no rain, but the air was getting chillier and it would continue to get colder . . . especially at the higher elevations thru Volcanoes National Park. So here I am, now riding back to Kona in the dark. The traffic has lightened considerably and the roads are clean and dry. The only close call that I encountered on the ride occurred about 30 miles south of Kona when I had fixated on the blinking lights of an on-coming ambulance and had not noticed the car that had stopped in the road in my lane to let the ambulance pass. Its lights were weaker than those of the ambulance and did not stand out well. Lots of front brake and a mini-fishtailing back tire got me slowed in time to avert a potential very bad day. All of this happened within a few seconds and as the ambulance passed, the car had begun moving, and I followed it back to the Chevron Station south of Kona. I pinched myself to make sure I was still ok, but unfortunately, I wouldnt be able to change my underwear til I got back to the hotel.

I made it to the Kona gas stop by 9:15 pm. While gassing up I kept thinking that the hotel was only about 15 miles away and that I could end this madness and the upcoming sleep deprivation symptoms that I knew was to come by simply riding back there and sackin out for the night. No way . . . I was on a mission and this wasnt the way to end it. Heading back to Hilo for the last time, I was telling myself that, finally, this was the last time that I would be riding this way.

As I passed other riders going toward Kona I wondered if they were finishing or if they, too, would be heading back to Hilo. The darkness of the ride masked all of the wonderful scenery that was, at times, distracting during the day, so it was easy to concentrate on the road ahead. When I got to Hilo I saw that the gas station that I had stopped at on the south side of the city as a turning point was closed. I ended up riding another eight miles into town to find an all-nite gas station. That was a little discouraging as I was trying to keep the excess miles to a minimum.

I left Hilo on the final leg at 11:20 pm feeling like the ride was over. But Ive always said to myself that its the last 100 miles that requires the most attention and concentration in one of these rides. About halfway thru the ride back the anticipated night-time tunnel vision that occurs when Im tired started coming on. Looking from side to side and glancing at the moon helped to reduce this. Also, the radio on the Electra Glide Classic was very welcome as a riding companion. . . They play good ole boy country music in Hawaii, too! Six riders passed me on the way going back to Hilo and I was glad that I didnt have to go that way again. I completed 1000 miles (1030 on the clock, figuring a 3% odometer error) at 12:40 am. Thirty miles and forty minutes later I checked in at the Kona Chevron checkpoint to get my end point receipt. Wow . . it was over. I made it !

Iron Butt veteran Dick Hoffman had returned to the hotel before me and when I got there we shared a few war stories before calling it a long day. He said that some of the riders had stayed on the northern side of the island and encountered more rain and windy conditions. Glad I missed that. My diet for the ride included three snicker bars, a handful of aspirin, two quarts of Gatorade, two Diet Pepsis, and the two sub sandwiches.

The next morning at breakfast there were lots of weary, but satisfied, looks on the riders faces. The bikes were returned to Kona HD (the Southernmost Harley Dealer in the US . . . so their t-shirt says) and we returned to the hotel to watch the Super Bowl football game. The comfortable chairs in the hotel lounge made it easy to catch up on much needed sleep. A final dinner on Sunday night chronicled the events of the previous days and solidified new friendships that were made.

As I write this, a week later, it all seems like just a blur. Theres three inches of snow on the ground and not much of a chance to ride in the next month or so. But, the days are getting longer and summer really isnt that far off.

Many thanks to Mike and Lisa for making this event possible.

Aloha . . .

12 Feb 06

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